I met up with Barbara last night at White Flag Projects' "Drinks with Beuys." Listening to Beuys 1980 interview brought me back to the powerful personal discoveries in grad school with my short works in performance. Working on "new research" and the "unknown" was an incredible expansion of my field of experience when letting the performance dictate what happens--- but not being able to defend all that happens and practice due to the improvisational nature made me leave the performance as a studio practice that is only performed alone to get the head space to create spatial installations. I really had a strong pang of loneliness for Erin Burke and her undying belief in the power of emotionally derived works that don't require explanation. The form and meaning become apparent months after the work. When working on installations and sculptures in my pristine studio space- I would just engage with materials and let the play inform me as it seemed to have something to say. I couldn't accurately articulate it in words but it was speaking for me. I think I need a return to that aspect of play, as I otherwise (overwise-was the Freudian slip there) end up editing myself to silence.
The Right Management career counseling personality assessment highlighted the strong emotional element I bring to everything. At first I felt defeated by this notion of continuing an accounting by emotional state- but I think my ability to empathize is the strongest aspect of my ability to communicate. This aspect of communication is best suited to visual works, but the need for communication is why a try to conceptualize everything first and come up with a linear relationship to how I combine elements. I don't necessarily think this is where I find the power of the strongest artworks lies--- since it is the one "off" aspect that makes it a wonderment- and slows time because you can't understand it mentally while your body reacts first. It reveals itself before you can articulate why it affects you.